Sad

The last few days have been really hard for me. I think for once I've truly learned what a trial is, I thought i knew... but i really didn't. I thought i had felt what loving someone was like once before, but i didn't know until now. I thought I've prayed with intent and meaning before, but i haven't been... until now. It seems that everyone and everything reminds me of him.
What would i do without friends to talk to and comfort me?! I wouldn't be anywhere, i wouldn't be who i am. I HATE knowing that i messed up... and that i can't do anything about it, is the worst part. You know its bad when watching funny movies, eating brownies, and crying doesn't make you feel even the slightest bit better. And to top it off, your best friend who can stay up hours past YOU crashing is the one to fall asleep trying to say all the right things and help......? Life doesn't always work out how we would like, i get that, but does it really have to be THIS hard?